Be there for your family by taking care of you too.

Although it may be the last thing you imagine doing, taking time for yourself might be the most important thing you can do. Without a break from the stresses of caring for your child with challenges, you will find it hard to muster your own coping resources. 

Sometimes it might be just a few minutes a day; a walk at lunchtime, a few minutes with a book in the evening.  Try to make sure you take some time for yourself.  Remember, when you take care of yourself, then you will be in a better position to take care of the people most important to you, your family.

Words of wisdom from those who have been there.

Take each day as it comes.

When you concentrate on getting through the day, then it will make it easier to cope with the challenges that arise.  Don’t spend too much time worrying about the future, especially if you’re in the middle of a crisis or if the issue is beyond your control.

Of course there are things that happen down the road that you need to pay attention to, like making a doctor's appointment or shopping for a family birthday.  At the same time, try not to get wrapped up in worrying about things like, whether you'll be late for the appointment or whether everyone will get along at the birthday party - let those thoughts drift out of your mind and come back to today, to this moment, and even these words that you're reading right now.

Celebrate each ("small") success.

Go to the Monroe County System of Care facebook group to share your successes and celebrations! You'll be sure to get a "pat on the back" and couldn't we all use more of those?

What exactly IS a "small" success?

• When your child goes to school without a major blow up...
• When your son/daughter passes their test - with a D...
• You notice your son/daughter took their meds without a reminder...
• Your child stayed in school - all day...
• What do you consider a "small" success?

These are just a few examples of what we mean by each success and they can be celebrated too - don't wait for the big milestones; give yourself (and your child) a pat on the back (if not you, then who?)!  When your life seems overwhelmed by challenges, this helps put the focus back on the positive.

Celebrations in 60 seconds (or more)

Now that you have a better idea of what "qualifies" as a small success - celebrate it!  It can be easy, fun and quick - just remember to do it because that's what counts and it helps to bring the focus back on what's positive.

• Write down in a journal or even a piece of paper (collect them in a folder or a shoe box) whatever accomplishment you're celebrating - then, the next time you're feeling down or frustrated, go back and read what you've written; it can serve as a nice pick-me-up when you're feeling down.
• Tell a friend (or other concerned adult) who cares and will give you a "pat on the back" - maybe it's your best friend or a family member, it might even be your child's teacher or counselor... whoever it is, give them a call, leave a message if you have to, and simply share your "good news" - you never know, you could be making someone else's day too!
• Smile - oddly, smiling is something we forget to go yet smiling is something you can do just about anywhere and there are actual emotional and physical benefits to smiling, like it can help lift your mood, it can reduce stress and even boost your immune system.  There are even more reasons to smile, but you've got a good reason already so, keep smiling.
• Give yourself a "shout out" - maybe not in a public place (unless you like the attention) but literally shout out your self-congratulations!  Try this - look in a mirror, smile and then at the top of your lungs, shout out as if your favorite team just won the championships or like you're trying to get your favorite celebrity's attention - LET IT OUT!  Letting loose like that helps relieve stress and you'll be smiling to yourself the rest of the day maybe thinking, "I can't believe I did that, but it sure felt good." 

You are not alone.  Come to a Family Roundtable.

Meet other family members and caregivers who gather monthly to learn about a variety of topics ranging from child behavior to understanding Medicaid and anything else related to raising a child with mental health challenges. The Family Roundtable also provides input into how to change the system and is an opportunity to you’re your voice heard.